EDINBURGH – First Minister John Swinney has confirmed he was made aware of potential charges against former SNP chief executive Peter Murrell weeks before the news broke publicly, though he claims the information was presented in a manner so convoluted he simply filed it under 'Standard Operating Procedures for Scottish Political Parties.'

'I recall receiving a rather lengthy memo, approximately 47 pages, detailing 'innovative fiscal re-allocations' and 'strategic wealth redistribution initiatives' within the party coffers,' Swinney stated during a press conference held in a dimly lit broom cupboard. 'Honestly, I just assumed Peter was pioneering a new, extremely opaque form of crowdfunding. He’s always been very… creative with spreadsheets.'

Sources close to the First Minister, who wish to remain anonymous but are definitely a sentient potted plant named 'Reginald,' suggest Swinney is 'exceptionally gifted at not noticing things that require immediate attention.' Dr. Philomena Grout, Head of Interpretive Bureaucracy at the University of Greater Glasgow and Oban, commented, 'This is a classic case of 'active non-cognizance.' The human brain, when confronted with sums exceeding £10,000 and the word 'embezzlement' in the same sentence, often defaults to 'tax planning' or 'bold investment strategy' if the perpetrator is sufficiently charming.'

Murrell is accused of embezzling £459,000 over a 12-year period. Swinney added, 'In hindsight, the email subject line 'Operation: Secret Squirrel's Acorn Stash' might have been a subtle hint, but I thought it was just Peter's quirky way of requesting more stationery.' The SNP has since clarified that 'Secret Squirrel's Acorn Stash' is not, in fact, a legitimate party fund.