ASSISI, ITALY – The skeletal remains of St. Francis of Assisi, currently on their second-ever public display since the 13th century, have reportedly expressed a desire for improved viewing conditions and a more dignified schedule. Sources close to the ossified saint indicate a growing dissatisfaction with the current arrangement, which involves being gawked at by throngs of pilgrims during peak tourist hours.

“It’s just undignified,” stated Dr. Philomena Casket, Head of Post-Mortem Public Relations for the Vatican’s Department of Sacred Skeletons. “St. Francis, through a series of highly sophisticated, spiritually-attuned seismic sensors we’ve embedded in his tibia, has communicated a clear preference for ambient, indirect lighting and a strict no-flash photography policy. He also feels 9 AM to 5 PM is far too early for a saint who’s been resting for 800 years.”

Local officials, caught off guard by the saint’s posthumous demands, are scrambling to adjust. “We thought he’d just be happy to be out and about,” admitted Mayor Giuseppe Boneparte, clutching a hastily translated parchment of alleged saintly grievances. “Apparently, being a patron saint doesn’t exempt one from the need for a good nap and a quiet environment. We’re now considering a 'Sacred Siesta' from 1 PM to 3 PM, during which all bone-viewing will cease.”

Pilgrims, meanwhile, remain largely unaware of the saint's reported discontent, continuing to queue for a glimpse of the revered relics, many oblivious to the subtle, yet firm, spiritual eye-rolls emanating from the display case.