WASHINGTON D.C. — A bipartisan group of senators has formally requested a comprehensive review of the Department of Justice’s (DOJ) protocols for handling sensitive documents, specifically those pertaining to the late financier Jeffrey Epstein. The inquiry comes amidst growing suspicion that the DOJ's internal filing system may rely too heavily on the 'honor system' and the collective memory of overworked interns.

“We need to understand if the current 'stack it on Brenda’s desk until she retires' method is truly best practice for cases involving individuals with extensive connections to the global elite,” stated Senator Eleanor Vance (I-KY), chair of the newly formed 'Paper Trail Accountability' subcommittee. “Are we adequately utilizing concepts like 'labels,' 'shelves,' or perhaps even 'digital backups'?”

Sources close to the investigation suggest that the senators are particularly interested in the DOJ’s 'active misplacement' and 'convenient oversight' protocols, which appear to have been highly effective in the Epstein case. “It’s less about a conspiracy and more about a deeply ingrained culture of looking for things only when someone important starts asking really loudly,” explained former DOJ archivist, Dr. Quentin Filer, speaking anonymously from his new job organizing a community theater’s prop closet.

Another point of contention is the alleged 'selective amnesia' policy, where key personnel seem to develop sudden, temporary memory loss when questioned about specific documents. “It’s a remarkably consistent phenomenon,” added Senator Vance. “Almost as if it’s a learned skill, like juggling or tax evasion.”

The review is expected to conclude sometime after the next major news cycle, by which point everyone involved hopes the public will have forgotten what they were so upset about in the first place.