LONDON – A new meta-analysis published by the Institute for Redundant Discoveries has definitively concluded that daily collagen supplementation excels at keeping skin remarkably elastic, thereby ensuring it remains in prime condition for the eventual, inevitable formation of wrinkles. The findings, which synthesize data from 37 double-blind, placebo-controlled trials, suggest that consumers are inadvertently investing in a 'pre-wrinkle conditioning' regimen.

“Our research indicates that collagen is doing precisely what it’s supposed to do: maintaining the skin’s supple, pliable nature,” explained Dr. Cassandra Pliant, Lead Investigator at the Department of Dermal Dynamics and Existential Dread. “This elasticity means the skin is perfectly prepared to fold, crease, and ultimately etch the rich tapestry of life’s disappointments onto one’s face. It’s a marvel of biological preparedness.”

The study, which involved over 14,000 participants and 3.2 metric tons of hydrolyzed bovine peptides, found a 17.3% increase in skin elasticity among supplement users, but a statistically insignificant 0.004% reduction in wrinkle formation. This translates, according to the researchers, to 'exceptionally flexible skin that will wrinkle just as much as before, but perhaps with a slightly more satisfying spring-back between creases.'

“It’s like oiling a rusty hinge,” offered Bartholomew 'Barty' Crinkle, a 67-year-old collagen enthusiast from Surrey. “You don’t stop it from swinging, you just make sure it swings smoothly until it eventually falls off. I feel great knowing my wrinkles will be top-tier.”