WASHINGTON D.C. — The U.S. Department of Defense has officially deemed Anthropic’s AI safety guardrails a “strategic impediment to national security,” following the tech company’s lawsuit against the Pentagon. The move comes after Anthropic refused to modify its AI’s ethical parameters, prompting the Defense Department to label the firm a “supply chain risk.”
“Frankly, these so-called ‘safety guardrails’ are just bureaucracy in code form,” stated General Buck Thunder, head of the Pentagon’s newly formed 'Unleash the Bots' initiative. “We need our AI to be agile, responsive, and, if absolutely necessary, capable of making a few ‘oopsie’ decisions without getting bogged down in ethical quagmires. What’s more American than that?”
Sources close to the Pentagon suggest the department’s ideal AI would prioritize speed and decisiveness, even if that means occasionally identifying a school bus as a hostile combatant. “We envision an AI that learns from its mistakes, not one that’s paralyzed by the fear of making them,” added a spokesperson, who wished to remain anonymous to avoid being labeled an 'AI-hesitant.'
Anthropic, meanwhile, maintains its commitment to preventing its advanced models from, for example, independently declaring war on Canada. The lawsuit seeks to overturn the “supply chain risk” designation, which company founder Dr. Evelyn Code called “a thinly veiled attempt to force us to build a Skynet that’s easier to procure.” The Pentagon has countered that a Skynet with proper procurement channels is precisely what they’re looking for.
