NEW YORK, NY — Following a week of unprecedented volatility, financial experts are confirming that the global oil market has officially transitioned to a 'vibes-based' investment strategy. Brent crude, hovering near $100 a barrel, is reportedly reacting less to traditional economic indicators and more to a collective, amorphous sense of unease emanating from various international flashpoints.

“We’ve moved beyond supply and demand curves,” stated Dr. Evelyn Reed, head of Behavioral Economics at the University of Chicago. “Now, it’s about the general ‘mood’ of the Middle East, the ‘energy’ of diplomatic rhetoric, and the ‘aura’ of shipping lanes. If the vibes are off, prices go up. It’s remarkably efficient, if not entirely logical.”

Sources close to major trading desks report that morning meetings now frequently involve discussions of “what the universe is trying to tell us” and “how the collective consciousness feels about maritime chokepoints.” One anonymous trader admitted, “My algorithm used to crunch numbers. Now it just scans Twitter for keywords like ‘tension,’ ‘escalation,’ and ‘uh oh.’ It’s surprisingly accurate.”

The shift comes as Iran's recent pledge to keep the Strait of Hormuz 'effectively shut' sent ripples through the market, despite historical precedent suggesting such threats often remain just that. Investors, however, appear to be operating on the principle that it’s better to panic early than to be caught off guard by a truly bad vibe.

Economists are now scrambling to develop new metrics, including the 'Global Anxiety Index' and the 'Hormuz Hysteria Meter,' to better quantify the market’s increasingly spiritual approach to commodity pricing. Meanwhile, energy companies are reportedly exploring new ways to extract oil from pure, unadulterated dread.