NEW YORK, NY – The New York Times, once a purveyor of hard-hitting journalism and Pulitzer-winning investigations, today launched “Pips,” a domino-based puzzle game, signaling its complete and utter pivot to becoming a gaming platform that happens to have a news division.

Sources close to the company, who spoke on condition of anonymity because they were too busy trying to beat their daily Wordle score, confirmed that internal meetings now predominantly focus on user engagement metrics for games rather than investigative reporting budgets. “We’re seeing unprecedented growth in our ‘time spent on site’ numbers, especially around lunchtime,” stated Chief Engagement Officer, Brenda ‘Buzzy’ McPuzzle, in a press release that was, ironically, buried beneath a link to the new game.

Industry analysts suggest the move is a savvy one, as traditional journalism continues its slow, dignified decline. “Why bother with the messy business of facts and truth when you can just give people little squares to click?” asked Dr. Evelyn ‘Evy’ Gamewell, a professor of digital distraction at the University of Southern California. “The Times is simply adapting to what the modern consumer truly craves: a brief, satisfying dopamine hit before returning to the existential dread of their inbox.”

The company is reportedly already developing a suite of new titles, including ‘Crossword: The Battle Royale,’ ‘Sudoku: Infinite Scroll Edition,’ and ‘Connections: The Therapy Session.’