NEW YORK, NY — In a move widely praised by content strategists and criticized by anyone with a firm grasp of temporal reality, leading NFL draft analysts have officially commenced scouting and ranking quarterbacks for the 2045 NFL Draft. This unprecedented early assessment comes as the league's insatiable demand for future talent projections continues to outpace the actual development of human beings.
"We're seeing some truly generational arm talent in the 2045 class, even if most of them are currently learning to walk or, in some cases, are still in utero," stated veteran scout Skip 'The Oracle' Peterson, whose 'Hot Board' for the 2045 class currently features a 3-year-old from Ohio with a 'cannon for an arm' and a 'surprisingly high football IQ for someone who mostly communicates in grunts.'
The early scouting reports include detailed analyses of toddlers' throwing mechanics during temper tantrums, their ability to navigate complex social situations in preschool, and their perceived 'leadership qualities' based on playground dynamics. One analyst even highlighted a prospect's 'unwavering focus during naptime' as a key indicator of future NFL success.
"It's about getting ahead of the curve," explained Hambry sports editor, Chip Sterling. "If we wait until they're in high school, we're already behind. The real money is in predicting which kindergartener will eventually throw for 5,000 yards in the pros." The scouting process is expected to intensify as more children are born.
