PALO ALTO, CA – A groundbreaking new study released Tuesday has definitively concluded that plug-in hybrid electric vehicles (PHEVs) are, in fact, rarely plugged in. The report, conducted by the Institute for Redundant Automotive Observation (IRAO), found that 97.3% of PHEV owners consistently treat their vehicles as conventional gasoline cars, with an additional, largely decorative, electric motor.

“Our data indicates a fascinating human tendency to ignore readily available, cost-saving technology in favor of established, more expensive habits,” stated Dr. Evelyn P. Spark, Chief Behavioral Anomalies Officer at IRAO. “It seems the mere *option* of plugging in is enough for some, much like owning a gym membership without ever actually going.”

Automakers, who continue to heavily invest in PHEV technology, expressed mild surprise but firm resolve. “We provide the port; the rest is up to the consumer,” remarked Bjorn 'Battery' Svensson, Head of Unused Features at Global Motors Corp. “Our market research showed a strong desire for 'eco-conscious flexibility,' which apparently translates to 'the ability to tell friends you *could* plug it in, if you wanted to.' We’re simply meeting that demand.”

The study also noted a significant correlation between PHEV ownership and a household's average number of unread self-help books, suggesting a broader pattern of aspirational but unexecuted self-improvement. Experts now recommend that future PHEV models come with a pre-installed, non-removable charging cable that emits a high-pitched whine until properly connected.