ITHACA, NY — A landmark study from the Cornell SC Johnson College of Business has delivered a stunning blow to anyone who believed the stock market had finally settled into a predictable, linear trajectory. After nearly five decades of meticulous data analysis, researchers have definitively concluded that 'value investing' — the practice of buying stocks that are cheap relative to their fundamentals — is, in fact, subject to cycles of both outperformance and underperformance against 'growth stocks.'

“It’s truly revolutionary,” stated lead author Dr. Brenda Finch, a professor of Applied Economic Obviousness. “For years, we’ve been operating under the assumption that once a trend starts, it just… continues forever. Our findings suggest a far more nuanced reality, where market preferences can, and often do, shift over time.” The study, published in the *Journal of Self-Evident Financial Truths*, posits that these fluctuations are not random, but rather, 'cyclical,' meaning they tend to repeat themselves.

Investment managers, many of whom have spent the last decade assuring clients that 'this time it’s different,' are reportedly scrambling to update their pitch decks. “We always knew deep down that the market wasn’t just a straight line to infinite wealth,” admitted 'Disruptive Capital' CEO, Brock Sterling, from his yacht. “But it was a much easier narrative to sell. Now we have to explain 'cycles' again, which, frankly, sounds a lot like 'we don’t really know what’s going on, but we’re still charging you a fee.'”

The study’s implications are vast, suggesting that investors might benefit from remembering that past performance is not indicative of future results, but also, sometimes it is, just in a different direction.