PALO ALTO, CA — A groundbreaking new study from the Institute for Generational Irrelevance has definitively proven that individuals born after 1990 possess zero cognitive ability to comprehend events, cultural touchstones, or even basic societal structures from the 'Before Times' – defined as any period prior to the widespread adoption of broadband internet.

“Our data indicates a complete mental block,” explained lead researcher Dr. Evelyn Hayes. “We showed a 25-year-old a picture of a rotary phone, and they genuinely believed it was a highly inefficient, decorative cheese grater. A VCR was identified as ‘some kind of ancient, clunky vape device.’ The 1970s, for example, might as well be the Mesozoic Era to them.”

The study involved a series of controlled experiments where participants were exposed to various artifacts and media from pre-2005. Reactions ranged from blank stares to profound existential confusion. One participant reportedly asked if the moon landing was ‘a particularly ambitious green screen project from the early 2000s.’

“It’s not ignorance, it’s a fundamental disconnect,” Dr. Hayes continued. “Their brains are simply not wired to process information that wasn't algorithmically curated for them. Anything that predates the infinite scroll is just… static.”

Future research aims to determine if anyone under 30 can even conceptualize a world without immediate access to every piece of information ever created, or if the concept itself triggers a 404 error in their neural pathways.