PARIS — French audio innovator Devialet today unveiled its latest triumph, the 'Phantom Ultimate Fidelity 108 dB,' a wireless speaker so advanced it actively refuses to play digital music files. Priced at a modest $3,500, the sculptural device boasts an exclusive 'Analog Resonance Optimization' (ARO) technology, which sources its audio exclusively from vinyl records played on a separate, equally high-end turntable.

"We found that the true bottleneck in modern audio wasn't the speaker itself, but the insidious convenience of digital formats," explained Devialet CEO, Antoine Dubois, at a press event held in a soundproofed, minimalist gallery. "Our customers don't just want to hear music; they want to *earn* it. The ritual of selecting, cleaning, and placing a vinyl record is an integral part of the listening experience we're selling."

Early reviews praise the speaker's ability to render sound with such pristine clarity that listeners can reportedly discern the exact brand of dust on their favorite jazz fusion albums. "It's like hearing 'Dark Side of the Moon' for the very first time, provided you're willing to spend another few grand on the 180-gram pressing," noted audiophile blogger, Chad 'The Ear' Kensington.

Industry analysts suggest the move is a bold play to capture the lucrative market of consumers who have already purchased every streaming service and are now desperately seeking new ways to spend money on music without actually listening to it more often.