WASHINGTON D.C. – Members of Inter Miami CF, including superstar Lionel Messi, reportedly left their recent White House visit with a profound sense of anticlimax, sources close to the team confirmed. The trip, ostensibly to celebrate their December MLS Cup triumph, provided an unexpected lesson in the banality of power for athletes accustomed to sold-out stadiums and adoring fans.

“I think Leo was expecting, you know, maybe a secret underground bunker, or at least a really cool trophy room,” admitted one anonymous team official, speaking on condition of anonymity. “Instead, it was a lot of hallways, some velvet ropes, and a guy in a suit talking about economic policy. He kept looking for the goal, but there was no goal.”

David Beckham, co-owner of Inter Miami, notably missed the excursion, citing a prior engagement involving a 'very important, very urgent, very sparkly thing.' His absence fueled speculation that he may have received an advance copy of the itinerary. “Mr. Beckham is a visionary,” stated PR representative, Fiona Sterling. “He understands that some experiences are best appreciated from a distance, perhaps through the lens of a highly curated social media post.”

The team’s visit concluded with a brief, formal ceremony that reportedly featured more polite applause than genuine enthusiasm. One player was overheard asking if there was a gift shop. The White House, meanwhile, issued a statement praising the team’s “athletic prowess and commitment to… whatever it is they do.”