WASHINGTON D.C. – A new report from the Department of Incarceration Logistics (DIL) indicates a worrying trend: the nation's prisons are struggling to maintain optimal occupancy rates due to a critical shortage of 'conveniently traceable' individuals. Historically, legal immigrants, asylum seekers, and visa overstayers have provided a steady, low-effort stream of detainees, but this reliable demographic is reportedly becoming harder to 'process' at scale.

“Our system thrives on predictability,” explained Dr. Evelyn P. Finch, Director of Applied Penological Simplification at the DIL. “When you have a fully documented individual with a known address and a clear paper trail, the administrative overhead for apprehension and detention plummets by an estimated 73.8%. It’s just good fiscal sense.”

The report highlights that while actual violent criminals and organized gang members still exist, their 'elusive' nature and 'uncooperative' tendencies make them less attractive targets for meeting quarterly incarceration quotas. “Frankly, chasing down actual drug kingpins is a drain on resources,” stated Chief Enforcement Officer Bartholomew 'Barty' Klink of the Bureau of Expedited Apprehension. “Give me a grad student whose visa expired last Tuesday, and I can have them processed before lunch. It’s about operational efficiency, not, you know, justice.”

Experts fear this trend could force law enforcement to pursue more 'challenging' criminal elements, potentially disrupting the delicate balance of the nation’s incarceration economy.