NEW YORK, NY — Long-serving CEO Margaret 'Maggie' Thompson was unceremoniously ousted from her position at tech giant InnovateCorp yesterday, with the board of directors citing her 'alarming track record of predictable success.' Thompson, known for delivering consistent quarterly growth and maintaining industry-leading employee satisfaction for over a decade, was reportedly deemed 'too reliable' for the modern, volatile market.

'Maggie was a rock, an absolute bedrock of stability,' stated board chair Reginald Sterling in a press conference that felt suspiciously like a hostage video. 'But frankly, in today's landscape, a rock is just… not chaotic enough. Where's the thrilling uncertainty? The existential dread that fuels innovation? We need a leader who keeps everyone on their toes, preferably by occasionally setting fire to the toes themselves.'

Sources close to the board indicated that Thompson's failure to generate a single 'pivot to video' or announce a 'strategic blockchain initiative' in the last five years was a major red flag. 'She never even once suggested we acquire a failing metaverse company just to show we were thinking big,' lamented one anonymous board member. 'It was all just… steady, profitable growth. So boring.'

Thompson’s replacement, a 28-year-old venture capitalist with a history of launching and immediately dissolving several 'disruptive' startups, promised to bring a much-needed sense of 'organized chaos' to InnovateCorp. Employees are reportedly preparing for mandatory 'synergy sprints' and a new company motto: 'Embrace the unknown, especially if it involves a total restructuring by Tuesday.'