WASHINGTON D.C. – Citing an unprecedented backlog of 'existential' court cases, the National Electoral Integrity Commission (NEIC) announced today that the upcoming midterm elections will be indefinitely postponed. The decision comes as state and federal courts nationwide are overwhelmed with challenges questioning everything from voter eligibility to the very legal standing of political parties and, in some extreme instances, the fundamental right of certain individuals to occupy physical space within the jurisdiction.

“It’s simply not feasible to hold an election when we’re still determining if half the electorate is legally a sentient being or just a very convincing houseplant,” stated Dr. Elara Vance, Chief Bureaucrat of Procedural Absurdity at the NEIC, during a press briefing held entirely in interpretive dance. “We need to ensure every ballot is cast by a legally recognized entity, and right now, that’s a moving target.”

Legal scholars are calling the situation a 'judicial singularity.' Professor Quentin Quibble, Chair of Esoteric Jurisprudence at the University of Unforeseen Consequences, noted, “We’ve moved beyond 'who can vote' to 'who is.' One case in Arizona is currently debating whether a candidate's birth certificate is valid if their parents met on a Tuesday. It’s a very nuanced legal argument.”

Sources close to the Supreme Court indicate that justices are currently deliberating whether the concept of 'democracy' itself is constitutional. A spokesperson for the Department of Recursive Redundancy confirmed that new election dates will be announced once the legal system decides if 'announcing' is a legally binding action.