WASHINGTON D.C. – Environmental advocate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has issued a surprisingly enthusiastic endorsement of President Trump's recent executive order promoting the widespread application of a newly designated 'soil enrichment compound' derived primarily from industrial waste streams. The move, which has baffled traditional environmental groups, was hailed by Kennedy as a 'paradigm shift' in agricultural sustainability.

“For too long, we’ve been shackled by the myth of 'natural' farming,” Kennedy stated in a press release issued from a sustainably-sourced, artisanal paper mill. “The President understands that true ecological balance comes from intelligently reintroducing elements that Mother Earth, in her infinite wisdom, has merely misplaced. This isn't pollution; it's a strategic re-mineralization program.”

The executive order, dubbed the 'Fertile Future Initiative,' streamlines regulatory hurdles for manufacturing and distributing the compound, which one White House spokesperson described as 'mostly inert, with beneficial trace elements of... well, let's call them 'industrial vigor.'' Dr. Brenda P. Halloway, Chief Anthropogenic Soil Alchemist at the Institute for Post-Organic Agriculture, praised the initiative. “Our preliminary findings indicate that while the compound may initially cause a slight iridescent sheen on crops, it dramatically increases their 'structural integrity' and 'resistance to natural processes,'” she reported, adjusting a pair of goggles. “We anticipate bumper crops of geometrically perfect, if slightly luminous, produce.”

Critics, however, remain perplexed. “It’s like he’s forgotten his entire career,” remarked Dr. Quentin Blight, head of the Department of Unnecessary Alarm at the University of Fictional Studies. “Or perhaps he’s just discovered a new, more efficient way to 'cleanse' the earth.”