DUBLIN – Following the bombshell announcement of a major motion picture chronicling the life of 102-year-old Republic of Ireland kitman, Charlie O'Leary, a consortium of leading global institutions has retroactively declared him the 'Most Influential Human Alive,' effective immediately.

Dr. Fiona MacGillicuddy, Head of Applied Laundry Semiotics at the University of Limerick, stated, 'Our preliminary analysis indicates that O'Leary's consistent provision of clean, correctly sized athletic wear has had a ripple effect far beyond the pitch. We're talking about a direct correlation between properly laundered shorts and the invention of the wheel, possibly.' She added that his 'unwavering commitment to pristine shin guards' might be the true, uncredited catalyst for the Enlightenment.

The film, tentatively titled 'The Unsung Stitch: A Kitman's Epic,' is expected to feature 3D CGI recreations of O'Leary's most iconic sock-pairing moments. 'The sheer volume of perfectly folded jerseys over a century – it's a testament to human endurance, a silent symphony of polyester and cotton,' commented Bartholomew 'Barty' Higgins, Chief Archivist for Sporting Garment Logistics at the National Museum of Ireland, who is consulting on the project. 'We believe his influence on global morale, albeit subconscious, is greater than that of any head of state or philosopher. Honestly, without him, would anyone even *want* to play football?'