WASHINGTON D.C. – A palpable sense of dread has settled over the nation's academic institutions following former President Biden's stark warning that 'truth and history' are under imminent threat of erasure. Historians and archivists are now scrambling to implement emergency protocols, urging citizens to commit fundamental historical facts to memory before a predicted 'Great Forgetting' event, slated for sometime next Tuesday, 3:17 PM EST.
The National Association of Chronological Integrity (NACI) issued a public advisory, recommending individuals 'mentally etch' the dates of major wars, presidential terms, and the precise moment sliced bread was invented. 'We're not entirely sure how this erasure mechanism works,' explained Dr. Penelope Quibble, NACI's Lead Anachronism Analyst, from a bunker filled with illuminated manuscripts. 'But preliminary models suggest a 78% chance that the concept of 'yesterday' could become fluid, possibly even reversible.'
Concerns are also mounting over America's global standing. 'If we forget we were ever global leaders, did we ever really lead?' pondered Professor Algernon Wiffle, Chair of Post-Existential Geopolitics at the University of Southern Vermont (Online Campus). 'It's a philosophical quandary with potentially devastating real-world implications, like forgetting how to correctly pronounce 'hegemony' during a crucial summit.' Citizens are advised to keep a small, laminated card with essential historical data on their person at all times, just in case. The White House has yet to comment on whether the Declaration of Independence is currently backed up to the cloud.





