WASHINGTON D.C. – In a move lauded by sports enthusiasts and mildly confusing to historians, President Donald J. Trump announced today that the Presidential Medal of Freedom will henceforth be bestowed primarily upon athletes whose 'game-winning heroics' demonstrate an unparalleled commitment to American exceptionalism. The new criteria, outlined in a hastily drafted executive order, specifically mentions 'sick saves,' 'slam dunks,' and 'any maneuver that makes the other team look like total losers.'

This groundbreaking policy shift comes on the heels of Team USA hockey goaltender Connor Hellebuyck being awarded the nation's highest civilian honor for his gold medal performance at the Milan Cortina Olympics. White House Press Secretary Chip 'The Enforcer' Peterson clarified, 'The President believes true freedom is best exemplified by someone who can stop a puck traveling at 100 miles per hour. That's real leadership, folks. Much more tangible than, say, civil rights advocacy or scientific breakthroughs.'

Dr. Agnes Periwinkle, head of the newly formed 'Department of Athletic Valor and National Pride' at the University of Fictional Studies, expressed cautious optimism. 'While traditionally the medal recognized contributions to world peace or cultural enrichment, one cannot deny the sheer, unadulterated joy of watching a goalie deny an opponent a goal. It's a very American joy, frankly.'

Sources close to the administration suggest future recipients might include a particularly agile mascot or perhaps a fan who successfully catches a foul ball while holding two beers. The new guidelines are expected to significantly reduce the backlog of non-athletic nominees.