WASHINGTON D.C. – Following a recent surge in reports detailing 'unnervingly impressive' intellectual feats, the Department of Cognitive Oversight (DCO) has issued a nationwide advisory, classifying exceptional intelligence as a potential societal threat. The DCO's newly published 'Competency Alert Level 3' recommends that the general public exercise extreme caution when encountering individuals who 'literally taught themselves chemistry' or can 'solve a Rubik's Cube while reciting the periodic table backwards.'

Dr. Elara Vance, Chief Behavioral Analyst for the DCO's Division of Unsanctioned Brilliance, emphasized the urgency of the situation. 'While we appreciate a well-rounded individual, the sheer, unbridled capacity for learning some people possess is frankly unsettling,' Dr. Vance stated in a press briefing, adjusting her spectacles nervously. 'It creates an imbalance. We're talking about people who can optimize their tax returns AND build a functional fusion reactor from household items. It's just too much.'

The DCO's new guidelines suggest a 'polite but firm' avoidance strategy. 'If you see someone effortlessly debugging complex code or explaining quantum mechanics during a casual brunch, simply nod, make a noncommittal sound, and slowly back away,' advised Bartholomew 'Barty' Finch, a spokesperson for the National Association of Average Joes (NAAJ). 'We don't want to provoke them. Just let them be brilliant over there, quietly, away from the rest of us.'