WASHINGTON D.C. – In an unprecedented move to safeguard public sensibilities, the newly formed Department of Preventative Decorum (DPD) announced today the deployment of 'Pre-Offense' units across the nation. These highly specialized squads are tasked with identifying and neutralizing potentially offensive Halloween costumes before they even leave the wearer's imagination.

'We've seen a disturbing trend of individuals merely *thinking* about costumes that could cause widespread discomfort, or even mild eye-rolls,' stated Dr. Elara Vance, Chief Empathy Officer for the DPD. 'Our algorithms, powered by predictive outrage analytics, can now flag a problematic concept with 97.4% accuracy based solely on a person's browsing history and whispered thoughts.'

The initiative comes after a recent online article, '42 Wildly Offensive Halloween Costumes I Am Begging You — Seriously, Down On My Knees, BEGGING You — Not To Wear This Year,' reportedly caused a 300% spike in individuals asking themselves, 'Is this offensive?' a question now deemed a 'gateway query' to actual offense. Pre-Offense units are equipped with 'Thought-Scan 3000' devices, capable of detecting nascent costume ideas from up to 50 feet away.

'Our goal isn't to punish, but to prevent,' explained Bartholomew 'Barty' Higgins, Head of Subtlety Enforcement for the DPD's Division of Thematic Appropriateness. 'If we detect you're leaning towards, say, a 'Sexy Historical Figure' that isn't universally beloved, or a 'Cultural Appropriation' that's just a hat, we'll intervene. A stern look and a pamphlet on 'Ethical Garment Choices' usually suffice.' Violators face mandatory attendance at a 'Costume Conscientiousness' seminar.