HOLLYWOOD, CA — In a development that has surprised absolutely no one, a recent high-profile political endorsement has triggered a fresh wave of social media pronouncements from celebrities across the ideological spectrum. Reports indicate that several prominent actors, musicians, and reality television personalities, previously known for their roles in various forms of entertainment, have taken to digital platforms to express their deeply held, if occasionally incoherent, political views.
“It’s truly a groundbreaking moment for democracy,” stated Dr. Evelyn Thorne, a fictional professor of modern discourse at the University of Southern California, who does not exist. “For too long, we’ve wondered what the person who played the third villain in that direct-to-video action movie thinks about fiscal policy. Now, thanks to the internet, we know. And honestly, it’s exactly what we expected.”
One anonymous publicist, speaking on condition of anonymity to protect their client's dwindling career, expressed exasperation. “You spend years crafting an image, building a brand, and then one tweet about ‘the deep state’ or ‘wokeness gone mad’ just… poof. Gone. It’s like they forget the internet is forever, and also that most of their fans just want to know if they’re still doing that reboot.”
Industry analysts predict that this trend of celebrities using their platforms to share unfiltered political hot takes will continue indefinitely, largely because there are no discernible consequences for doing so, and the engagement numbers are, frankly, through the roof.
In related news, reports indicate that the average person is still just trying to figure out how to unsubscribe from all those spam emails.
