WASHINGTON D.C. – NASA Administrator Jared Isaacman unveiled a groundbreaking new strategy today designed to finally get humanity back to the moon: setting an achievable, yet still aspirational, target date of 2077. The 'Artemis Forever' initiative aims to eliminate the stress of unrealistic deadlines by embracing a more 'fluid' approach to lunar exploration.

“For too long, we’ve been shackled by the tyranny of ‘next year’ or ‘the year after that,’” Isaacman stated at a press conference, flanked by a surprisingly dusty model of the Artemis rocket. “This new timeline allows for unforeseen technological advancements, inevitable political squabbles, and the occasional global pandemic, all while maintaining the core mission of eventually, sometime, landing a human on the lunar surface.”

Critics, who had previously expressed concerns about the program’s repeated delays and ballooning costs, were reportedly 'speechless' by the announcement. Dr. Evelyn Reed, a former NASA propulsion engineer, commented, “It’s certainly… a strategy. I suppose it’s hard to miss a deadline when the deadline is further away than most of your current workforce’s retirement plans.”

The plan also includes a new 'Lunar Legacy' outreach program, offering children born today the chance to apply for astronaut training in their early 50s. NASA confirmed that the first mission will still be named Artemis, with subsequent missions to be named after increasingly obscure Greek deities until they run out.