RABAT – The Royal Moroccan Football Federation (FRMF) announced today the immediate termination of head coach Walid Regragui, just three months before the nation’s highly anticipated World Cup campaign. The FRMF stated that while Regragui's past achievements, including a historic run to the 2022 World Cup semifinals and an Africa Cup of Nations final, were 'noted,' his inability to provide 'guaranteed, minute-by-minute future match outcomes' ultimately proved untenable.
“Mr. Regragui delivered results, yes, but could he tell us the precise trajectory of every penalty kick in the knockout stages?” questioned FRMF President Fouzi Lekjaa in a press conference. “Could he assure us of the exact number of corner kicks we’d face against, say, Belgium in the group stage? No, he could not. We require a coach who operates beyond mere tactics and player management; we need a visionary who can literally see the future.”
Sources close to the federation indicate that Regragui's final performance review included a section titled 'Divinatory Capabilities,' which he reportedly scored 'below average' on. “He kept insisting on training and strategy,” said one anonymous FRMF official, “when what we really needed was a crystal ball and perhaps a good tarot reader on the technical staff.”
The FRMF is reportedly now seeking candidates with proven clairvoyant abilities, or at minimum, a very convincing PowerPoint presentation detailing every goal scored in Qatar 2026 before it happens.
Morocco now hopes to secure a coach who can not only win games but also tell them next week's lottery numbers.
