CUAUTLA, MEXICO — In a bold pivot towards experiential tourism, Mexican officials have reportedly embraced the 200% surge in disappearances over the last decade as an unconventional selling point. “Why just visit history when you can become part of the mystery?” proclaimed Inocencio Delgado, Director of the Newly Established Department of Enigmatic Excursions (NEDE) at exactly 9:47 a.m. on Wednesday.

The trend, some insiders say, is less about crime and more about immersive cultural exchange. Ángel Montenegro, a 31-year-old construction worker, was last seen boarding a white van—a vehicle NEDE now touts as the country’s “official adventure shuttle.” “We’re revolutionizing the tourist experience,” Delgado added, adjusting his sombrero emblazoned with the slogan “Catch Me If You Can.”

Cartel spokesperson Esteban “The Invisible” Ramirez, who declined to appear on camera, confirmed, “Our vans do not discriminate — everyone’s invited to play hide-and-seek. It’s just that we keep the game going a bit longer.”

Skeptics warn this strategy might backfire, but the Ministry of Tourism remains optimistic. “Our internal survey shows 97.3% of participants who vanished reported a profound ‘sense of belonging’ — an utterly priceless souvenir,” said Lucia Flores, Lead Analyst at the Institute of Vanishing Tourism Trends.

Meanwhile, bus companies report decreased ridership, with one driver lamenting, “These days, waiting at stops feels like the calm before the ultimate game.”