MEXICO CITY – The Mexican Army has announced with 'unprecedented certainty' that Nemesio Rubén Oseguera Cervantes, known as 'El Mencho,' leader of the Jalisco New Generation Cartel, was killed in an operation Sunday. This marks the 14th official confirmation of his demise since 2010, leading to cautious optimism among federal agencies.

'We are 99.7% sure this is the final final time,' stated Brigadier General Armando 'The Truth' Sanchez, head of the Department of Definitive Cartel Leader Neutralization. 'Our advanced biometric scanners, which typically struggle with individuals who regularly change their fingerprints, dental records, and entire skeletal structure, have provided a positive match. We even found his favorite brand of artisanal avocado toast.'

Sources close to the operation suggest El Mencho's capture was aided by a new federal initiative, 'Operation: Annoy Him to Death,' which involved daily drone flyovers playing mariachi music at maximum volume over suspected hideouts. 'He just couldn't take the constant 'Cielito Lindo' anymore,' a source revealed.

Dr. Penelope Wiffle, a leading expert in Post-Mortem Cartel Leadership Vacuums at the Institute for Perpetual Instability Studies, noted, 'While historically these events lead to a brief uptick in celebratory fireworks sales before a new, often more ambitious, leader emerges, this time feels different. We're predicting a 0.03% decrease in cartel-related activity for at least 72 hours.'

The government also announced that the winner of this year's 'Cartel Leader Bingo' is a Mrs. Elena Rodriguez of Guadalajara, who correctly predicted the exact date and method of El Mencho's 'final' departure.