WASHINGTON D.C. — The Department of Homeland Security (DHS) has formally announced its rebranding as the Department of Homeland Insecurity, effective immediately. The move comes as the agency approaches a full month without congressional funding, leading to widespread operational disruptions and a general sense of unease among its workforce.

“We felt it was important to be authentic with the American people,” stated newly appointed Acting Undersecretary for Existential Dread, Brenda P. Failsafe. “When you’re operating on fumes, with key personnel furloughed and critical systems running on hopes and prayers, ‘security’ feels a bit… aspirational. ‘Insecurity’ is just more honest. It’s what we’re delivering.”

The rebranding effort, which reportedly cost zero dollars due to existing letterhead simply being crossed out with a Sharpie, was praised by some congressional aides for its “innovative cost-saving measures.” Others suggested it was a passive-aggressive jab at the legislative branch. “It’s a bold move, definitely,” commented Senator Mitch McConnell (R-KY), adjusting his tie. “But I’m not sure it addresses the underlying issues of… whatever it is we’re arguing about this week.”

Sources close to the department indicate that morale is surprisingly high, with many employees finding the new name liberating. “At least now we don’t have to pretend,” said one anonymous TSA agent, who was reportedly using a broken coffee maker to heat up lukewarm soup. “Our job description used to be ‘secure the homeland.’ Now it’s ‘try not to think about the homeland too much.’ Much less stressful.”

The department also announced plans to update its motto from “Ready, Vigilant, Secure” to “We’re Doing Our Best, Considering.”