WASHINGTON D.C. – In a landmark legislative move, the U.S. Department of Spousal Accountability (DoSA) announced today that former First Lady Hillary Clinton has been officially designated as the nation's 'Designated Scapegoat' for all spousal misdeeds, both historical and yet-to-occur. The decision comes after what DoSA officials described as an 'unprecedented statistical anomaly' in which Mrs. Clinton has been asked to answer for her husband's actions for the 3,742nd time this fiscal quarter alone.

'It's simply more efficient this way,' stated Dr. Elara Vance, Chief Bureaucrat of Perpetual Marital Indictment at DoSA, during a press briefing held in a repurposed broom closet. 'Rather than wasting valuable taxpayer dollars on individual inquiries, we can now direct all queries regarding any male spouse's past, present, or future indiscretions directly to Mrs. Clinton. She's clearly got the bandwidth.'

Under the new mandate, Mrs. Clinton will be required to maintain a 24/7 hotline for public inquiries, ranging from alleged Epstein connections to forgotten grocery lists. 'I anticipate a significant reduction in national anxiety,' Dr. Vance added, 'knowing there's one person consistently available to shoulder the blame for literally everything.'

Local bystander and self-proclaimed 'expert on everything,' Bartholomew 'Barty' Higgins, 78, from Topeka, lauded the move. 'Finally, some accountability! I always knew she was behind why my neighbor's lawnmower broke down last Tuesday.' Mrs. Clinton's office could not be reached for comment, presumably because she was already busy drafting an apology for the invention of Crocs.