RICHMOND, VA – A direct descendant of Founding Father Patrick Henry has formally requested that Virginia's entire electoral process be reverted to its 18th-century roots, following a heated redistricting debate. Del. Anne Ferrell Tata (R-100th Colonial District), whose lineage reportedly includes a third cousin twice removed of Henry's milkmaid, declared that modern redistricting efforts are 'an affront to the very spirit of liberty and manual cartography.'

'My ancestor, Patrick Henry, would not have stood for these digital gerrymanders, these algorithmic abominations,' Tata stated in a press conference held exclusively by candlelight. 'He would have demanded districts be carved by hand, using only the finest parchment and a surveying chain, preferably while on horseback, shouting about taxation.'

Experts are divided on the feasibility of such a radical overhaul. Dr. Bartholomew 'Barty' Quill, Head of Anachronistic Electoral Studies at the University of Southern Virginia's Institute for Historical Re-enactment, commented, 'While historically accurate, returning to a system where districts are determined by the flight path of a particularly patriotic pigeon might introduce unforeseen complexities, such as pigeon-based voter suppression.'

Tata's proposal includes a mandatory 'Liberty Bell Toll' before each vote and a return to property-based suffrage, ensuring only those with 'a demonstrable stake in the land, preferably in acres, not square feet,' can participate. The Governor's office has yet to respond, reportedly still trying to locate a working quill pen and a suitable horse for the state's chief cartographer.