WASHINGTON D.C. – The U.S. Department of Justice issued a formal apology Wednesday after a federal judge rebuked them for attempting to search a Washington Post reporter’s home without acknowledging a 1980 law protecting journalists. DOJ officials stated the oversight was 'entirely unintentional' and blamed an 'unprecedented backlog' in their 'Ancient Legal Texts Review Division.'

“Frankly, with the sheer volume of statutes enacted since, oh, say, the Magna Carta, a 44-year-old law can easily slip through the cracks,” explained Assistant Attorney General Bartholomew 'Barty' Bumble, head of the Department’s Bureau of Historical Legal Ambiguities. “We’ve been so focused on the 1791 Bill of Rights, we just haven’t gotten around to the 1980 Privacy Protection Act yet. It’s on the docket for Q3 2027.”

The judge in question reportedly expressed 'mild surprise' that federal prosecutors were unaware of a law specifically designed to prevent such searches. Sources close to the court suggest the judge considered recommending the DOJ invest in a 'large, leather-bound book with all the laws in it,' but decided against it to avoid 'overwhelming' the department.

“It’s a common issue,” said Dr. Evelyn P. Quill, Professor of Retroactive Jurisprudence at the Institute for Unforeseen Legal Consequences. “Most prosecutors are simply too busy to read anything published after the invention of the telegraph. We’re just lucky they remembered the part about 'innocent until proven guilty,' though that’s also on the review list.” The DOJ has since promised to implement a new 'pre-search checklist' that includes 'Check for any pesky 'rights' that might apply?'