SEATTLE – A clandestine initiative to substitute standard infant formula with a 'proprietary blend of emetic agents and mild hallucinogens' at a regional Costco Wholesale location concluded this week, with researchers expressing profound disappointment at the public's apparent indifference.

According to an internal memo from the Institute for Consumer Apathy Studies (ICAS), the week-long experiment, designed to test the limits of brand loyalty and bulk purchasing compulsion, found that 'not a single shopper deviated from their typical purchasing patterns, even when confronted with projectile vomiting infants in the checkout line.'

Dr. Elara Vance, lead researcher and Senior Director of Existential Consumerism at ICAS, described the results as 'both alarming and utterly predictable.' 'We hypothesized a 15-20% drop in formula sales, perhaps even a few concerned queries,' Dr. Vance stated, adjusting her monocle. 'Instead, we observed a 3.7% increase, with one parent reportedly shrugging off a neon-green infant expulsion as 'just a phase, probably teething.''

Bystanders interviewed outside the warehouse reported similar observations. 'Look, it's Kirkland Signature. You know what you're getting, even if what you're getting is a baby that looks like it's auditioning for 'The Exorcist',' commented Brenda 'Bulk-Buy' Jenkins, 47, pushing a cart laden with 55-gallon drums of olive oil. 'The price point is just too good to pass up. Besides, a little extra protein never hurt anyone, right?'