WASHINGTON D.C. – Following the recent failure of a proposed air safety bill, congressional leaders have lauded a near-miss between two private planes near Teterboro, N.J., as a serendipitous demonstration of air travel's untapped potential for 'unscripted excitement.' The bipartisan decision to table legislation aimed at mandating advanced collision prevention technology was reportedly bolstered by the February 13th incident, which, according to officials, provided valuable data on human adrenaline response.

“We’ve been looking for ways to make air travel less… predictable,” stated Senator Bartholomew 'Barty' Crumpet (R-WY), Chairman of the Subcommittee on Aerial Thrills and Passenger Retention. “This Teterboro event, where two aircraft came within an estimated 17.3 feet of each other, clearly shows that a little uncertainty can really get the blood pumping. It’s a natural, organic way to boost passenger engagement metrics by up to 34%.”

Dr. Penelope Wiffle, Head of Experiential Aeronautics at the Institute for Unplanned Outcomes, concurred. “Our preliminary analysis suggests that the 'near-miss' experience generates a unique blend of terror and relief, leading to profoundly memorable travel experiences. Mandating technology that prevents such moments would be akin to removing the climactic chase scene from a blockbuster film.”

Critics of the bill's failure, primarily air traffic controllers and pilots, were unavailable for comment, reportedly still attempting to lower their heart rates to medically advisable levels.