WASHINGTON D.C. – In a stunning display of cross-aisle cooperation, a bipartisan group of lawmakers is pushing for new legislation that would require the President to submit all future war plans to Congress in a highly stylized, multi-format presentation, including a mandatory 'Crayola Concept Sketch' phase.

Spearheaded by Sen. Timothy Kaine (D-VA) and Rep. Thomas Massie (R-KY), the proposed 'Executive Engagement Oversight and Aesthetic Review Act of 2024' aims to prevent unilateral military action by ensuring that any potential conflict is first vetted for its 'narrative coherence and overall visual impact.' Sources close to the drafting committee suggest a minimum of three distinct color palettes must be presented for each proposed theater of operations.

“We need to move beyond mere constitutional checks and balances,” stated Dr. Philomena Gloop, Director of Interspecies Diplomacy and Conflict Resolution at the Fictional Institute of Global Harmony. “What if the President’s war plan just… clashes with the drapes in the Oval Office? These are the critical questions we’re finally asking.”

The bill also mandates a 72-hour 'Congressional Doodle Period,' during which members can add their own artistic interpretations to the proposed strategies. “It’s about ownership,” explained Representative Massie, reportedly sketching a tactical squirrel wearing a tiny helmet. “If we can’t draw it, how can we vote on it?”

Presidential advisors are reportedly scrambling to hire a team of graphic designers and early childhood educators to prepare for the new requirements, with one anonymous source commenting, “We’re just hoping they don’t ask for glitter.”