WASHINGTON D.C. – Former President Bill Clinton's highly anticipated testimony, wherein he reportedly stated Donald Trump 'never said anything' to suggest involvement with Jeffrey Epstein, has sent shockwaves through the scientific community, not for its content, but for its sheer audacity. House Oversight Chairman James Comer confirmed the former president's remarkable clarity on this specific non-event, prompting immediate academic interest.

Dr. Elara Vance, lead researcher at the Institute for Cognitive Omissions and director of the 'What Was I Saying?' program at the University of Southern Nebraska-Omaha, praised Clinton's performance. 'This isn't just forgetting; this is a highly refined, almost artisanal form of memory suppression,' Vance explained. 'To recall with such precision what *wasn't* said, especially concerning a topic of such public scrutiny, requires a neural pathway dedicated solely to the absence of information. It's truly inspiring for anyone who's ever misplaced their keys or forgotten an anniversary.'

Sources close to the deposition described Clinton as 'serene and unburdened by inconvenient details,' reportedly pausing only to request a glass of water and to confirm that 'no, absolutely nothing was said about *that*.'

Meanwhile, Professor Bartholomew 'Barty' Crouch Jr., a self-proclaimed 'Memory Architect' from the fictional University of Phoenix Online, suggested Clinton's technique could revolutionize political discourse. 'Imagine a world where politicians only remember what benefits them, and forget everything else with such conviction. Oh, wait…' Crouch mused, trailing off with a thoughtful nod. 'Still, this is next level. He's not just forgetting; he's actively remembering the *lack* of something. It’s like remembering a blank page in a book you never read.'