NEW YORK, NY — Following a record-breaking $16.5 million purchase of a rare Pokémon trading card, prominent investor A.J. Scaramucci has reportedly urged everyday Americans to consider diversifying their portfolios with high-value collectibles, particularly those tied to forgotten childhood joys. Scaramucci, known for his keen eye for market trends, stated that the 'tremendous growth' in the trading card sector indicates a robust, recession-proof alternative to traditional investments.

“Look, the stock market is volatile, real estate is… well, real estate,” Scaramucci explained to a bewildered CNBC anchor, gesturing with a pristine Charizard card he keeps in a bulletproof display case. “But a first-edition holographic Blastoise? That’s tangible. That’s a piece of history. And frankly, it’s a lot more fun to look at than a bond certificate.”

Economists have largely met the advice with a mixture of polite head-nodding and thinly veiled panic. Dr. Evelyn Reed, a professor of behavioral economics at the University of Chicago, commented, “While it’s true that certain rare items appreciate in value, advising the average person to sink their retirement savings into a PSA 10-graded Pikachu Illustrator card might be… ambitious. Especially when that card costs more than most people’s homes.”

Scaramucci, however, remains undeterred, reportedly instructing his financial advisors to explore the viability of a 'Beanie Baby Index Fund' and a 'Pogs Futures Market.' He believes the emotional connection to these assets provides an unparalleled layer of investor confidence. “It’s not just an investment,” he concluded, “it’s an investment in your inner child’s future financial security.”