OMAHA — Greg Abel, the designated successor to Warren Buffett at Berkshire Hathaway, has taken corporate loyalty to unprecedented levels, announcing he will invest his entire after-tax salary into company stock. Sources close to the situation confirm this commitment extends beyond mere financial investment, with Abel reportedly liquidating all personal property—including a modest collection of vintage sporks and a partially-read copy of 'The Intelligent Investor'—to further consolidate his holdings.
“It’s not just about the salary,” a Berkshire spokesperson, who identified himself only as 'Shareholder Value Phil,' stated. “Mr. Abel believes true dedication means aligning every fiber of one’s being with the corporate mission. His car is now a Berkshire-owned asset, his home is technically a long-term lease from a Berkshire subsidiary, and his morning coffee is brewed with beans from a Berkshire-affiliated agricultural venture.”
The move comes as Berkshire Hathaway also resumes share buybacks, a practice previously viewed with skepticism by Buffett. Analysts suggest Abel’s total immersion strategy is designed to demonstrate a new era of corporate devotion, where personal identity is seamlessly integrated with the company brand. “He’s not just buying stock; he’s *becoming* Berkshire,” noted Dr. Evelyn Finch, a professor of corporate psychology at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.
Abel is rumored to be considering changing his legal name to 'Greg Berkshire Hathaway Abel' to further solidify his commitment, pending approval from the board and a sufficient number of Class A shares.
