CUPERTINO, CA — Apple Inc. announced today that its highly anticipated smart home display, codenamed 'Project Prometheus,' will once again be delayed, this time indefinitely, until the collective human spirit is deemed sufficiently evolved to appreciate its full potential. The device, which has seen numerous rumored launch windows come and go, is now expected to debut sometime after the singularity, or perhaps a truly universal understanding of quantum mechanics.
“We simply cannot release a product of this magnitude until society is prepared to receive it,” stated Apple’s Head of Existential Product Readiness, Dr. Anya Sharma. “It’s not just a screen; it’s a mirror reflecting the soul of humanity. And frankly, right now, that reflection is still a bit… unoptimized.” Dr. Sharma hinted that the device's 'robot arm-equipped cousin,' initially slated for 2027, might arrive closer to the heat death of the universe.
Industry analysts suggest the repeated delays are less about spiritual readiness and more about Apple’s internal struggles with integrating a toaster function that doesn't also try to organize your entire digital life. “They’re trying to make a smart display that’s also a life coach, a therapist, and can perfectly butter toast,” explained tech pundit Chip Sterling. “It’s a lot to ask of a single device, even for Apple.”
Sources close to the project indicate that the device currently exists only as a series of profoundly moving haikus written on a napkin by Jony Ive.
