WASHINGTON D.C. – In a bold move signaling a new era of administrative efficiency, the current U.S. administration has reportedly begun implementing a groundbreaking 'Pre-Fired' U.S. Attorney program. This innovative initiative aims to streamline the often cumbersome process of appointing and subsequently dismissing federal prosecutors by simply firing them before they officially assume office.

The program comes on the heels of what sources close to the Department of Justice are calling 'unnecessary administrative overhead' caused by judges appointing U.S. Attorneys who then had to be formally terminated. 'It’s just good governance,' stated Brenda 'The Butcher' Carlson, Deputy Assistant Secretary for Redundancy Elimination at the Office of Bureaucratic Optimization. 'Why waste a perfectly good swearing-in ceremony when you know the outcome? We’re cutting out the middleman, which, in this case, was the actual job itself.'

Critics, primarily 'judicial traditionalists' and 'people who believe in due process,' have voiced concerns. However, the administration remains unfazed. 'This isn't about disrespecting the judiciary,' clarified a spokesperson for the Executive Branch, who requested anonymity to avoid being pre-fired. 'This is about anticipating needs. We’re simply getting ahead of the curve. Think of it as a proactive termination, a preventative dismissal. It’s like firing someone for a job they haven't even started, but with more steps and a federal seal.'

Legal scholars are already predicting the next logical step: 'pre-fired' federal judges, to ensure judicial alignment from the bench up.