HOLLYWOOD, CA — Veteran actor Delroy Lindo has reportedly finalized paperwork officially declaring himself 'un-bothered' for the remainder of awards season, sources close to the star confirmed today. The move comes after Lindo repeatedly deflected questions about a previous awards ceremony gaffe, opting instead to focus on 'claiming the joy' of the moment.
“It’s a proactive measure,” explained publicist Brenda Carmichael, adjusting her headset. “Why wait for someone to ask about a perceived slight when you can simply declare yourself impervious to all slights, past, present, and future? Mr. Lindo is simply optimizing his emotional bandwidth for maximum celebration.”
According to Carmichael, Lindo’s legal team has drafted a comprehensive 'Joy Claim' document, which outlines his exclusive rights to positive emotional states during any televised event where he might be present. The document reportedly includes clauses for 'pre-emptive forgiveness' and 'mandatory good vibes only' zones around his person.
“We’ve even secured a provisional patent on his specific brand of 'un-bothered' serenity,” Carmichael added, polishing a small, golden statuette. “Any attempts to inject negativity into his sphere will be met with a cease and desist order, followed by an immediate deployment of his patented 'Joy Shield' protocol.”
Lindo himself was unavailable for comment, reportedly too busy 'claiming the joy' of a particularly well-made croissant.
